As the South continues to fight out of last year’s record drought, the Midwest is losing its crops beneath a series of record floods. What’s causing this chaos?

A valid question, when corn is already setting price records. Seven million acres were never planted this year, and the damage toll from the flood has yet to be fully accounted for. The answer, according to a study commissioned by the Climate Change Science Program (We know, it sounds slanted just a little–but NOAA did the research), is that if you live in most of North America, buy an umbrella. As the temperature of the planet rises–and it’s risen enough that this summer will be the first with no ice at the North Pole–the air is able to hold more water vapor, which raises the chance of a rainstorm at any given point, as well as flooding in extreme circumstances.

What About The Droughts? Can Atlantans Start Washing Their Cars Yet?

Sadly, it appears that a Fulton County plate and “Wash Me” are going to become increasingly synonymous in the future–heat waves will also be more likely in our brave new world, and areas that are already dry, or that depend on the push of cold air from Canada to send rain their way, are going to be in increasingly dire straits. Also on the chopping block: the American southwest, and the Caribbean islands, which despite being surrounded by water, will have a hard time getting rain with the temperature increase looming.

What Should We Do?

If you live in Iowa, you may want to buy a boat. If you live in Phoenix, you may want to see about installing some low-flow plumbing and xeriscaping. If you live in a red state, your BS meter may be going off, so we’ll go ahead and address it–yes, the forecasts have perpetually called for record hurricane seasons following Hurricane Katrina, and the attribution of that storm to the power of global warming. We don’t have a PhD in Climatology, so we’ll let an expert explain it to you:

In case you were wondering, that was Dr. James Hansen, chief climatologist for NASA. Suffice to say, he’s smart. You may note that he advocates an immediate moratorium on coal-fired power plants; that sad thing is, in light of these events, and the news on the North Pole, or dissapearance thereof, it may even be too late for that.

More Reading:

NASA’s Hansen: Humans Still Loading Climate Change Dice (DotEarth)
Extreme Floods, Storms Seen Increasing Across North America (Reuters UK)